OLD JOCK RADIO ARSEHOLES
On this page we nominate anybody who we don't like for whatever reason, and so can you! Just click on the button to the left and send me your nomination with at least one good reason marking the email "arsehole" and if we agree you will see it posted here. (no picture of nominated arsehole required) get nominating, lets fill this page up!
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed by people who nominate the arseholes may not be shared or reflect the opinions of the OJR staff.
Stephen Hawking
Doctors said he would die in his twenties, now this pensioner is nothing more than a dribbling skin sack, blowing incoherent bollocks into his computer (which is obviously now covertly controlled by some sycophantic undergraduate, still copying all the good bits from Einstein’s works).
Professor, your ‘short history’ has been far too long, and if you continue to cold-call me to tell me I may have won a holiday I’ll let your fucking tires down.
Nominated by Fraz
Lewis Hamilton
Cheating, lying, low life little arsehole. If is not bad enough telling his fellow Brits that he is moving to Switzerland to get away from being hounded (by his fans) when what he really meant was that he wished only to fuck over all common people by not adding his tax pay to the place he came from.
Or to hook up with a pussycat doll in a bid to catapult his print value to stratospheric heights.
Or to have allowed himself to be pushed by his stony steely faced "ManDadager" since the age of 1 day, in a bid to satify his (Anthony - who might I say is the AlphaCunt in this whole debarcle) unopaque wanton desire for fame through his son.
Worst is to purposfully lie in a bid to cheat a fellow driver out of a position and then after given time to reflect, lie again three days later, takes a supercunt. Cries of "misled" go unheard from a wiltering Anthony as he steeps in the realisation that this "Lie" might not only end his dream, but will no doubt end that of his son. Yes, only now that he has been found out, can he (Lewis) retract his lie and offer contrite tripe in the knowlege that everyone know knows...
Lewis Hamilton you are a cheating lying ARSEHOLE...
Nominated by Mildou
Gok
Not content with skipping around telling the women of the world it's totally acceptable to be a fat lazy mess, he's back with a campaign to liberate Jimmy five bellies of her makeup. The utter, utter bastard... Now, If he really thought that the essence of natural beauty was a curvy natural renaissance style lady then I would understand. Or even if he was into mummsy slightly chubby women dressed as Nora Batty, I could at least forgive him as being from a disturbed childhood, or suffering from a kind of post traumatic stress disorder. The real irony however, is that whilst he promotes himself as the leading authority on beautiful women, he's just not that way inclined darling. So while he's telling Porky McJiggles how to look good naked and slipping her another krispy creme, his beady little smug eyes are popping out from behind his Black rimmed spectacles at the muscle bound hunk operating camera 2. This chump is plain as day laughing his little rainbow coloured socks off at me as he prances round on my TV which is on full blast whilst my Girlfirend transfixed, pushes the bedroom door closed so she can hear his every word above my thrashing GUITAR CHORDS THAT STRUM AS LOUD AS I CAN TO TRY TO DROWN OUT THE BASTARD. I HATE YOU GOK WANK.
Nominated by Jordan Downes
Gordon Ramsey
Totally going nuts because some poor bastard has over cooked a potato is not a good way for a grown up man to be. For fuck sake calm the fuck down! Sheesh!
Nominated By Mungo
Margaret Thatcher
To some she was the saviour of the nation and a shining light for the "greed is good" generation, to others she was just an evil caniving witch. I know where I stand.
Nominated by Big Kev
Nicky Campbell
Nicky makes every Scotsman proud to be alive with his caring looks to camera as he sheads a bbc tear for all those poor unfortunates who have been overcharged on their gas bill.
Nominated by Brian McCluskey
God
Dear God, For your own sake, when the fuck are you goin' tae use your infinite power and carstrate all the pricks who spawn dicks that rant on about religion and want my credit card number, I know all too well you can do such miracles. your loving son, Jesus. And don't reply with your normal childish retort of "Smell yer maw", you're old and ugly enough by now to see the light.
Nominated By Chris Cantwell
George Galloway
OK so he did make a US Senate committee look like fools but we've all done that, haven't we? No, I nominate him as an ARSEHOLE because he is a "strutting popinjay" (to use his own words) who uses his abilities with language to attempt to squash anyone with a counter-argument on his Talk Radio show. AND if their arguments are cogent he turns them off before insulting them when they can no longer reply. Also, his bum smells.
Nominated by Dod
Jim "Nick Nick" Davidson
Sexist, homophobic, racist relic from a bygone age, but somehow still on our TV screens with alarming regularity. Whether he is entertaining “our boys” at war in far off shores or trying to cook an apple pie for some dumb reality show Jim is always wide of the mark to anyone with half a brain.
Can't remember who nominated
MICHAEL WINNER
Film director with over 40 years in the industry and not one half decent movie under his swollen belt. Happy to spend his twilight years bumming free meals by telling other people how to do their job. Last seen peddling insurance on the telly with his duff catch phrase "calm down dear, I'll be dead soon"
Nominated by Duncan Paterson
JOHN EDWARD
Lying bastard spiritualist cunt, exploiter of the bewildered and in
mourning, purveyor of a fools comfort, only by casting people like him into
the metaphorical dustbin can the species of human being ever grow up.
Nominated by Brian McCluskey
HEATHER "THE WEATHER"
FUCKING “HELLO THERE”
Nominated by Atholl
BEAR GRYLLS
This aching backside of man masquerades as a survival expert presenting a show teaching the British general public how to survive when stranded in the most extreme inhospitable conditions. Essential knowledge for the likes of people whose most extreme experience is having to survive the queue of Greggs for a steak bake. The self styled ‘real life Robinson Crusoe’ was outed as phony last year when it emerged he was hotfooting it to the nearest motel as soon as it got dark enjoying a minibar, cable television and pancakes for breakfast. Worst of all though he’s not even a real bear for fuck’s sake. I’d pay good money to see Ray Mears make a knapsack out of this fucktard’s bawbag.
Nominated by Jonny Gray
DARRYN LYONS
This slimmy little turd sums up everything that's repulsive and vile in the world today. Building people up and knocking them down is his specialality. With his fat coke filled head and his delusions of grandure, he also seems to think he's worthy of celebrity status himself and so he squeezes his disgusting ridiculous spud of a head onto any crap program that'll have him. One can only hope he dies by his own sword, or anybodys sword will do for that matter.
Nominated By Captain Salami
FERN COTTON
No single human being can make me wince as much as this dreadful waste of skin and blood. The voice of enthusiastic empty headed youth TV. For the love of god please make her go away!
Nominated by Les
MARIAH CAREY
Empty headed diva who seems incapable of just "singing the fucking song" too many notes you daft cow!
Nominated by Panda
Theo Paphitis
This creepy little goblin from Dragons Den sits in his ivory tower dishing out his "childrens inheritance" to any half arsed scheme that might buy him another speedboat. This is the sort of prick that makes you prey for a massive down turn in the economy.
Nominated by Big Kev
JOHN GAUNT (GAUNTY)
Where do you start with this little piece of shit? A man so unpopular even his colleagues at Talksport can't hide their dislike for him. Gaunty, as he calls himself, thinks you win an argument not by reasoned debate but by shouting over someone, He also has a column in The Sun (quel suprise!) where in a recent column (which I read for research purposes only you understand) he advocates stick over carrot for dealing with the Muslim community and chastised the McCanns for taking a holiday. God I hate you! You are the physical embodiment of the horrible little Englander; smug, self righteous and intolerant. Let us hope that the metaphorical stick you dish out so liberally comes back to hit you...right in the fucking balls. Metaphorically speaking of course.
Nominated by Tam C.
PIERS MORGAN
Piers fucking Morgan. A man who is essentially a criminal who has now reinvented himself as a smug, greasy, third rate Cowell type character. I literally can't see his self righteous face without my heart rate racing with rage and the desire to kill clouding what little judgement I have left these days...
Nominated by Ben
Nicky Hambleton Jones
Hateful Stepford wife with no facial expressions of any kind who takes
brutal advantage of self hating idiots on TV by sending them to a plastic
surgeon instead of a psychiatrist. She promises to make them look ten years
younger and generally succeeds in making them look ten times weirder. Gok
Wan and Trinnie and Suzannah are fucking annoying, but this horror is full
on evil and must be stopped.
Nominated by Brian McCluskey
URI GELLER
A fraud, nothing more nothing less.
Nominated by Seamus
TODD BENTLEY
This low life is revivalist evangalist preatcher Todd Bentley, Todd crops up on "God TV" just about every night. He seems to think that he can cure any illness or disease, I watched him just the other night telling a man with no legs that they would soon grow again thanks to the power of Jesus. Don't cha love him?
JOHN LESLIE
Badger bothering arsehole who just likes to have his fingers in all the pies....
Nominated by Panda
DAVE LEE TRAVIS
Dave is everything that is wrong with radio all wrapped up in one person. A man who spent his whole life working as a music DJ but unbelievably doesn't own a single record. What a guy, whack whack oops indeed!
DOG THE BOUNTY HUNTER
A deepy confused man, half policeman half WCW wrestler. Further proof if proof were needed that America as a nation is fucked. Driving around in his 4x4s with his fat wife and team of bozo sons arresting people and dribbling on about god. One day someone will smoke his lunatic ass and it will be on camera.
Nominated by Ally
HOWARD BROWN
With his wobbly knees dance and his quirky "everyman" look this bastard has got to go. If I had a Halifx account I would close it immediatly and spend the money on employing a hit man to rub this irritating arse out.
Nominated by Big Kev Hannigan
SIMON COWELL
Though entertaining at times make no mistake this man is nothing less than the spawn of satan himself. On any of his many shows observe his brain ticking over as he imagines the new house he can buy as he watches some poor sap perform their deluded heart out.
Nominated by Kenny Bell
JEREMY KYLE
This odious little prick should be burned at the stake for all his crimes. Swelling his bank balance by shouting at morons and calling women "madam" in that condisending manner spring to mind. Drop dead soon Jeremy.
JEREMY CLARKSON
Clarkson. What can I say? A childish, right wing man boy, who giggles at explosions, guns, immigrants, and climate scientists (who have knowledge and degrees an' that) like the naughty boy at the back of the class. How can you take a man seriously who can't even dress himself? Black shoes, white sock and blue jeans. What a cunt.
Nominated by Ben
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
All that money and still wanders around with a face like a smacked arse. God bless you ma'am.
Nominated by Leckers
JO WHILEY
Talentless, unfunny, scraggy, old bint, arselicked her way to the top of music radio and TV, surreptitiously plagiarising the ideas and opinions of the truly talented and vomiting them back in shades of pale at a seemingly insatiable audience of vegetables and lacklustre students. Incomprehensibly remainiing topside bedded in on a sea of fetid sycophantic banalities, she is THE human sedative, a snoozefest of mammoth proportions, spewing peaktime inane twaddle at the drop of a name. Dress the crinkly twat up in a skimpy dress and drop her off in frontline Afghanistan.
Nominated by Marg.
KRIS MARSHALL
If smugness were money this BT whore would be a millionaire many times over, pack it in you annoying arse.
Nominated by Garybug
SEBASTIAN COE
An outright Puritan power hungry twat and attempting to
persuade all our youngsters that running round a track for purely self agrandising glory is the reason they exist.
The Olympics is a contemptible event and the amount of money spent on these people (athletes) will be looked on in generations to come as the most ridiculous way to spend our time and money.
Nominated by Keith Douglas
GEORGE LAMB
Empty headed radio 6 presenter, he opens his mouth and shit comes out. Put a sock in it you cunt.
Nominated by Joanne
BORIS JOHNSON
Boris likens knife crime and drug abuse to playing violent video games claiming 'video games rot your brain'. so if he doesn't play video games whats his excuse?
Nominated by Doctor White
John Barrowman
Since when did this over preened tailors dummy become flavour of the month? Is there any chance I can switch on the telly on a saturday night without having to endure this supercilious fanny?
Nominated by Leckers
AXL ROSE
For taking 40 years and £3 billion to make an album thats gonnae be shite anyway.
Nominated by Stuart Fraser
JAMES WHALE
The Whalester! Bombarding us for years and years with his vile right wing drivel on Talk Sport now recntly fired and selling tat on Bid Up TV, maybe there is a god.
ROSS NOBLE
A deeply unfunny man who's idea of comedy is to substitute genuine humour with low rent surreallist twaddle. Imagine spending an evening in a students union bar earwigging other peoples conversations and you are pretty much there. Piss off.
Nominated by Owen Evans
BEN FOGLE
Surley there are enough posh twats on the TV without adding this wax jacketed fanny to the heap. Piss off back to your country pile.
Nominated by Owen Evans
